Following your joy is the best thing you can do for yourself? Why?

  • You will raise your vibrations (you will feel good).
  • You learn to trust.
  • You learn to surrender.
  • You give expression to your unique True Self.
  • You shine by example (even though that isn’t the reason you follow your joy).
  • And you learn to be real honest with yourself.

And this article is about that last bullet point. Honesty towards yourself. Because with following your joy, you can kid yourself into thinking you’re doing the right thing.

Let me explain.

Let’s say you’re in a situation where you don’t have a lot of money. Finding a fitting job is difficult. You can just pay the bills and get by but there’s hardly any room for other things.

This situation in itself is neutral. It doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t say to you “oh, how bad is this”, or “jolly, this is so fun”. The situation doesn’t do that. Reading the paragraph above doesn’t state any negative or positive bias. It’s a neutral description of the situation.

On the other hand, when you’re in that situation, it’s YOU who’s giving that situation meaning. You experience it as either, bad, neutral or good, as anxiety-inducing, nothing really important or an opportunity.

The meaning you give that situation has certain feelings as a consequence. You feel good about it (for example, your attitude is: this is an opportunity) or you feel bad about it (for example, your attitude is: I don’t have enough money).

Now, when you find yourself in such a situation and you want to follow your joy, you could say that starting a business is what gives you joy.

When you come from a negative belief (you feel bad about it because of, for example, the thought of lack of money) you feel joyous about starting a company. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you feel joyous about it because it resonates with you, but because you avoid, you escape from the lack based thoughts about money.

When you come from a positive belief (this is an opportunity) and you feel truly joyous, open, trusting and truly on your path, then this feels joyous because it truly suits you to start a business.

So, something might seem like following your joy, but in truth, you’re avoiding something. Your avoiding feeling bad because of the lack-based thoughts about money (I don’t have enough money).

Following your joy should be about following what truly resonates with you and with the abundance, empowered and freedom truths of life. It should make you feel open, trusting, complete and whole.

It’s not about avoiding feeling bad about a certain situation. It’s not about escaping fear, or lack-based beliefs about yourself or your situation.

In this example, the joy is starting a business. This is a socially accepted form of doing something, even if it’s because you’re avoiding something else. But starting a business can be replaced by, for example, eating cookies, drinking alcohol, or binge-watching Netflix.

It’s not really important what you choose, it’s why you choose it. Do you choose it to avoid dealing with your lack-based beliefs about the situation or do you choose it because it’s the best available option that truly highlights you from within?

To navigate this delicate balance, you can ask yourself one question.

So, the question you can ask yourself in any situation where you choose the most joyous option available to you is:

“Am I avoiding something?”

When you look at your situation from which you’re choosing your joyous option, ask yourself: “Am I avoiding something?”. Are you looking at your situation from a lack-based perspective and do you feel bad about it? And if so, you’re probably choosing something to avoid those negative feelings and to avoid transforming that lack-based perspective.

It might seem like a joyous choice or decision but it’s not one based on feeling complete, whole and in complete alignment with who you truly are.

Keep asking yourself the question: “Am I avoiding something?” Look at yourself and/or your situation and see if you’re viewing it from a lack-based perspective (I don’t deserve this, I will never earn enough money, I’m not worthy of this love, If I lose this weight I will be ……). And if you’re coming from such a perspective, the joyous thing you want to choose, then, probably isn’t truly the best option for you.

So when you’re choosing the most joyous option for you, be really honest with yourself. Take a good look at yourself and your situation and see if and how you’re avoiding something.

Carmen Smallegange is a coach specialized in uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs. Using her own life lessons she shines a new and fresh light on negative experiences to empower others to do the same and to acknowledge and step into their own amazing potential. You can get her free workbook on how to transform your fears or follow her on Facebook.



Image courtesy of Janko Ferlic.