“They do not love that do not show their love.” – William Shakespeare
How would you say you are “with money”? Some of us are big spenders and not so good with saving money. It doesn’t stay in our pockets too long, right? If we have it, we spend it. The future will provide somehow.
Others of us like to keep our money in the bank and get pretty stressed out about any little expenditure. What if something terrible happens and we need money one day? What if Social Security runs out, we live to be 95 and if we don’t have enough money we will end up in some state-run facility? What if one of us gets sick and insurance doesn’t pay for it? What if, what if, what if. I could go on and on.
Either way, money is a security blanket. We either spend it to make ourselves and those around us feel better immediately, or we save it so that we don’t worry about the future so much.
But did you know that how you manage your money is correlated to how you manage your relationships? Who do you treat better, your money or your partner?
Do you invest your money?
If you are interested in watching your money grow, perhaps you’ve invested in stocks or a 401k. Are you high or low-risk? Do you get excited to take a BIG swing knowing that there is a fairly good chance you may lose it all? Or do you invest in things where the payoff isn’t that huge but you can be quite certain it will make decent growth?
People who are high-risk with money also tend to be that way with their relationships. They may see some red flags with their partners but are willing to take the chance because of the way that person makes them feel when things are going great. It’s a high-high when things are going well, but watch out for that crash and burn.
Low-risk investors see the red flags and may walk away from relationships because they are fearful of possibly being hurt someday. They won’t risk their feelings even though there is a chance that person will make them happy.
Which is better? There is no right and wrong – just understand who you are and be honest with yourself regarding the choices you are making.
Invest in your relationship like you do your money and see what the returns are!
Do you let money flow from you knowing more will come back?
Some people love to shower their partners with expensive gifts, trips, dinners, etc… with seemingly no regard for what’s left in the bank. While others feel good about saving their money for both of their futures.
I’ve heard it said that if you let your money go freely then more will come back to you. If it makes you feel super to spend your money lavishly it’s either means you can’t get enough of the dopamine that comes with it, or that you are so secure with your place in this world that you know more is on its way.
Live life now, right? Don’t wait to be happy.
Givers put a lot of energy and effort into their relationships knowing (or hoping) that the other person will return the gestures. But if that doesn’t happen, they are left feeling resentful and used even if it was totally their own decision to spend that money.
Savers, on the other hand, like to move forward carefully. They get their dopamine from other sources and maybe don’t even need the high-highs and low-lows in life. That’s the trade off – living life in the middle.
Be free with your love – give it away. More will come back to you if you are with the right person.
How closely do you watch your checkbook?
When I first got married, I took at stab at balancing our joint checking account. If I was within $30-$50 dollars of what the bank said my math should say than I’d call it ‘good enough’. But my husband quickly took responsibility for the checkbook balancing duties. He needed to account for every penny.
And that pretty much sums us up, too. I let a LOT of details go when it comes to communication and paying attention to him. I still struggle with what to get him for his birthday and the holidays.
Meanwhile, he knows me better than I know myself. He takes responsibility for the big important things in life like our investments and healthcare, while I excel at our social calendar and planning fun things to do.
Again, with this one, there’s no right or wrong. But don’t expect somebody who is loose with details to be the sort of person who gets you the most wonderful birthday gift that you never even knew you wanted.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, but pay attention to what makes your partner happy so that you can be the one providing those things.
Are you jealous of how much money other people have?
Have you ever noticed how different people can be regarding how much money they need to be happy?
I have poor family members who seem to be happier than the Richie Rich ones, and middle income friends who have decided they don’t want to work any harder or longer than they already do just to make a few more bucks.
There are also those people who dream of being multi-millionaires. They may even be jealous of what other people have.
Jealousy. We know where this one is leading, right?
People who never have enough money and resent others who have more than them are always looking for greener pastures. They may find fault with their partners who of course are not perfect. They run the risk of never being truly happy and content with their partner.
Love the one you’re with. Love them all up.
Who are you loving today?
Brooke Collins has a passion to help clients discover how to take responsibility for their health and gain awareness about their emotional wellness using a holistic approach targeting the mind, body, and spirit. Find more wellness blogs on her website.
Image courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio.