We’ve often heard that time can heal wounds. All factors considered, it likewise can contort your memories of what occurred in any past event. This can bypass a portion of the more deadly and horrendous encounters after a painful healing process.
It can further intensify those saving events where you showed some degree of tolerance. This is a red flag to watch out for as they can legitimize their harmfulness. At times, the most challenging thing to do is to depart from toxic people, especially those we’ve been companions with for quite a long time – particularly lovers and family.
In some cases, we don’t wholly acknowledge how hurtful that individual was. It is not until we’ve ended the relationship and reevaluated our past defenses for exposing ourselves to that kind of conduct. This applies whether you met through mutual friends or on the best dating sites.
Regardless of whether we effectively get a careful distance far from individuals, there might be an impulse to reconnect with them. It’s often because our reliability turns into our most critical blemish. However, doing such might be to the detriment of our obligation to ourselves.
Before we can directly jump into how to deal with toxic people, let’s check out their different characteristics. So what are toxic people?
Characteristics of Toxic People
What are the signs of toxic people? If you want to know if you’re having a friendship or relationship with the wrong person, watch out for these toxic people traits:
- They are manipulative
- They push you into feeling bad about yourself
- They are judgmental
- They host a lot of negativity
- They have passive aggression
- They are self-centered
- They have difficulty in managing their anger
- They are too controlling.
How to Handle Toxic People
It is essential to consider cutting toxic people out of your life completely. This is because they bring more harm than good. However, it is pretty difficult if you might ask around to leave such relationships.
These individuals seem to have trapped their partners in some spell with what they offer. They develop particular ties with their subject to restrict them from leaving the relationship and move on.
Below are the dos and don’ts of letting go of toxic people:
- Avoid joining in their reality
- Do not get drawn in
- Be aware of how they treat your
- Have a conversation about their behavior
- Prioritize yourself
- Be compassionate but don’t invest in fixing them
- Learn how to say “no”
- Keep in mind that you are not at fault
- Limit the time you spend together
- Set boundaries
- Develop an exit strategy
- Make changes in your routine
- Encourage them to seek help
- Don’t take things personally
- Maintain your calmness
- Seek help from a therapist
Reasons to Stay Away from Toxic People
While there are explicit tips and tricks to get yourself out of the situation, it still seems complicated even after achieving positive development. Some people manage to move on and get their lives together. Nonetheless, keeping that distance might seem challenging, and some people think of getting back to that flame.
You have to keep working to ensure that you don’t fall back into their traps. Below we’ve listed three main reasons you ought not to reconnect with toxic people, regardless of whether it conflicts with our mindful nature.
1. You Deserve Better
There is no point in staying in a space where you’re not comfortable. As much as you have attachment with people from your past relationship, you must consider where you want to head. If someone treated you like trash, then there’s no point in staying.
Once you’ve moved on, completely stay away from the toxic person as you can quickly get back in. You should know your worth. Interact with other people and see how they will treat you with respect and care for you equally. That’s what you deserve, and you should not at any point settle for less.
Consider the reasons why you left and don’t look back. Regardless of what they offer from their better side, it’s only necessary to let go of toxic people.
2. Once Bitten Twice Shy
Are you familiar with this saying? Well, let’s break it down a little bit. If you’ve encountered horrible experiences in your past relationship, you should be somewhat scared of stepping foot there again.
There are many things toxic people do to their victims – diminishing their self-esteem, belittling them, making a fool out of them, and using them. They are always in total control, as a master does to his puppets.
It takes great effort if you were in such a situation and managed to get out of it. In that case, you should not at any point consider going back there as you have a clear view of what’s in store for you. Just brace yourself and keep your distance. Always avoid toxic people.
3. It Is Good for Your Health
Wouldn’t you want to have a good peaceful life? Are you not attracted to positive vibes and a chilled life? One that is full of happiness and laughter, one that you feel and experience love? Such a life gives you a good atmosphere as you can grow and progress in your life.
However, getting back to tear your wounds apart is an unwise decision. You will add insult to it, and probably, there will be no coming back from that relationship. Once you’re mentally and emotionally healthy, then your physical health conforms to those good conditions.
You’ll have an overall healthy life as you will be involved in restorative practices and away from negative traits. You’ll also be free from the bondage that comes with it, as this is what toxic people are characterized with.
It is wise and valuable to draw some reasonable limits around where you burn through your effort. By the day’s end, individuals you invest your experience with should add to your energy, not take from it. Sadly, the latter is the sole role of toxic people. It’s tough, it’s disappointing, it is almost impossible, but leaving is inevitable.
Having come out of the destructive side, and regardless of the beginning staggers, it ends up being quite possibly the most significant thing that you could potentially do. Toxic, also known as poisonous individuals, are the sort to characterize their importance by humiliating people around them to be the tallest high rise going. At that point, they rob the assets from their victims to take charge and work their way to destruction.
You ought to have genuine discussions on your objectives and qualities with individuals with whom you are in these associations. You may track down that a few folks in your circle need to develop with you, while others disregard you.
It might not feel good at first, but a definite promise is that you will be better off in the long run. Although it primarily appears to be a selfish act, staying in a miserable relationship is not a good move. You’re doing yourself a very obvious disservice, but you’re also doing the person on the other end harm by not being honest with where you are or how you feel.
It’s always a matter of self-care and respect. If you respect yourself enough, then you’d probably have left ages before it got out of hand. However, now that you’re out of the bubble, it is up to you to stay there and never think of sinking back in.
Ever asked yourself why you attract toxic people? Are you dealing with a toxic person? What measures are you taking to leave the relationship? How do you plan to avoid any re-connection altogether? Leave a comment below!
Sherry Kimball is a guest blogger and family coach. She helps couples to find understanding in relations. In her free time, she cooks and does yoga.
Featured image courtesy of Anthony Shkraba.