I was handed this quote while sitting in a support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I was feeling raw, exposed and terrified of what would come next for my life. While listening to the stories of the participants, we each received a pile of flyers offering upcoming events and resources, this quote fell out of the pile on to the floor at my feet. As I leaned down to pick it up, I read it. The last sentence took my breath away. “There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” I never considered something good might come from stepping into the unknown. I’d spent years building up walls to protect myself from the unknown. In my world, the unknown was a frightening, unsafe place, not to be explored.
I was so gripped by fear, I never considered that standing in the unknown might enable me to fly.
Fly? I want to fly. I carried this quote in my wallet for years. Taking those first steps were hard. There were a lot of good reasons why I should stay away from the edge. I heard them externally and internally. At first, I listened to most of them. There was even a therapist who told me that girls who experience the things I experienced usually end up as hookers in abusive relationships. So I guess as long as I am not a hooker with a black eye, I’m a success? WTF?
I am so much more than my fear. @lockeym (Click to Tweet!)
I began to hear them for what they are, fear based conversations designed to keep me away from the edge. It was becoming clear, my fear was the gap between me and the unknown. I wanted to know every where I was gripped by fear, keeping myself away from the edge.
I became an observer of my life.
I wanted to explore the “unknown.” The unknown for me being that place of vulnerability, where I offer my trust to the Universe with the knowledge that everything is going to be okay. I am safe. When I asked the questions, Who am I? What do I have to offer? I no longer tried to force an outcome. I let the conversation unfold naturally. Actions that I’d never been willing to take started to happen organically. I stood up for myself, created boundaries, ended toxic relationships and allowed loving relationships to enter my life.
I learned to fly.
I found that living on the edge is exciting, when I step to the edge of my light, I’m alive. I’m excited, my body tingles, who doesn’t want to tingle?
I invite you to be an observer of your life. Where are the opportunities for you to step to the edge of your unknown? Write me a note in the comments of this post, share your experience with the unknown. I read and respond to every comment.
In 2006, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Lockey Maisonneuve underwent chemotherapy, bi-lateral mastectomies with saline implant reconstruction, and radiation. During this time, she saw a real need for recovering cancer patients to exercise—not just for the physical rehabilitation, but also the mental aspect of regaining control over their bodies. After completing specialized training through the Cancer Exercise Training Institute, Lockey created MovingOn, a rehabilitative exercise program for cancer patients. Lockey and the MovingOn program have been featured on WABC, WCBS, News 12, WKTU, Overlook View, Shape, Origin, Yoga, Mantra and Health Park Place, and The Patch. For more on Lockey, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.