A few months ago I was on the phone with a very frustrated friend, who was complaining about all the hard work she was putting forth trying to reaching her personal and professional goals. She kept up with the latest manifestation and self-help best sellers, did her mantras and visualizations diligently but somehow, nothing seemed to be working. She felt so disconnected from her dreams and the life she had envisioned that one day she unceremoniously said: “I’m not manifesting SHIT! What the f*&^ am I doing wrong?”
I recognized at that specific point, she needed to vent her frustrations. There would be no point in providing insight, because she wasn’t ready to receive it. At that moment, we had a highly spirited “bitching fest” over a couple of glasses of wine.
Yet, what kind of friend (and wellness coach) would I be if I didn’t help her get out of that funk and into a place of clarity and intention. What we discovered was very healing and empowering for both of us.
First off, the reasons why things may not be “manifesting” in your life:
Deep Down, You Don’t Expect Things To Happen For You
The power of manifesting starts with an intention and with the belief that you deserve and can attain that goal. Believing that it is possible is the number one thing that will motivate you to try and keep trying until you make it happen. Do you? Do you really believe? I mean, like you believe in the fact that you can read these words?
You May Be Efficient But Not Effective
This is something many people (including myself) struggle with. You may be an ace at planning and organizing and executing all the “to-do’s” on your daily goals but how effective are all those tasks? How many steps closer are you to your end goal at the of the day/week? Are you able to meet your financial/professional goals?
You Are Biting More Than You Can Chew
This goes hand in hand with effectiveness. Chances are you are juggling too many projects, handling too many tasks and there is just not enough hours in the day to handle everything in a productive, effective way. This will inevitably lead to overwhelm and feelings of unworthiness.
Your Focus Is All Over The Place
You bit off more than you can chew and now you are having a hard time discerning what projects are top priorities, how on earth are you going to get all this done and whose idea was all this crap anyway! Your focus is out of whack and there is no way you can be productive, let alone manifest anything in this state.
You Are Not Connecting
It may be that you are not connecting with your heart’s true desires but it can also be about connecting with others. If you are not connecting with yourself, start by asking, “Do I have clarity of intent? “Do I truly know what I want, and more importantly, why? Connecting with others may be a bit more about finding the right networks, about networking or about lack of partnership or community.
You Are Not Giving Yourself Credit
A lot of us tend to focus on large goals that often take a great deal of time and effort to become a reality. You are in fact making headway and even winning daily battles but because the war hasn’t been won, you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished much.
It is so much easier to see what you are not than to see what you are. @JovankaCiares
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WHAT TO DO
Ok, enough about the why’s? Let’s talk about what you can do to get back on track and feeling great about your goal-setting abilities and accomplishments!
Let It All Out
Just like my friend did, sometimes it is important to get all that negativity and frustration out of your system. I am a big proponent of the occasional “bitch-fest,” finding ways to blow out some steam and let it all out physically, verbally and emotionally. The key here is to know that you are letting it all go, let it go… no really, let it go!
Release What You Cannot Control
Imagine you prepared for weeks for a big client presentation and you nailed it. You need this contract more than air and you are holding on to the hope that the client realizes they need you too. This kind of stressful expectation can lead to anxiety and feelings of unworthiness. You did your part, release the need to control that which you know you cannot and focus instead on what you can, the work that you love.
After you are done with your bitch-fest, take a moment to realize that at this very moment, your future is a blank canvas and that you have the palatte and brushes to create the masterpiece of your life. Create a simple yet highly focused plan, and work on one goal at a time. Focusing on one major project at a time, will help you feel empowered and accomplished once you finish that task.
Hustle Like A Mo’Fo
Without this, you might as well close this browser and throw in the towel. You have clear goals, you are emotionally ready, you have intention and desire but none of that will help you manifest your heart’s desires without putting serious work into it. Don’t let advertisers or Hollywood fool you: overnight success requires you to hustle like a mo’fo.
Do One Outrageous Thing Every Day
This may mean something different for you depending on your personality and comfort level. It may mean something as simple as following up with a prospect on a contract negotiation or handing over your card to Tony Robbins when you see him riding the same elevator you are in.
Offer To Help Someone
This is a powerful tool that can yield amazing results. You can ask to volunteer for a weekend retreat, offer some complimentary mentoring or introducing a vendor to a VIP contact of yours. The universal law of cause and effect will prove to you that what goes around comes around. Be generous and the universe will return the favor tenfold.
Jovanka Ciares is a tri-lingual wellness expert and nutrition coach based in New York City and Los Angeles. Jovanka’s approach to mind-body wellness has earned her thousands of fans the world over and regular slots on Fox News, NPR, CBS Radio, Telemundo, and The Huffington Post. In addition, she is the author of three books. You can find more on her website.