Do you believe you are where you are because of someone else? Do you find yourself blaming others for your pain and disappointment? This is a common occurrence and how the ego mind works. When someone does or says something that causes pain, you may blame them for how they ‘made’ you feel. You may even blame people you barely know, for your bad mood, time you may have wasted, money you lost, or an opportunity you missed out on.

Any of this sound familiar? This is the way most people, operate. Though, in reality, it is not an effective way of solving problems or creating the life you want.

Blaming others does not make you successful or even make you feel good. It simply keeps you stuck and is an excuse for inaction.

The common denominator in all of the circumstances of your life, is you. Figuring out why you continue to attract a bad boyfriend, mean boss or bitchy best friend is where true empowerment begins. It can be challenging to take responsibility, because in fact you may have been wronged, treated poorly, cheated on, manipulated, or worse. I am suggesting you take responsibility for what you make the experience mean and what you do next. And yes we can talk about how terrible those experiences were and honor that pain but many get stuck there.

In every circumstance you face, you have the choice to stay in a victim position or to learn and step out of it. It is when you take responsibility for your thoughts, expectations and choices, that you can begin to change your life circumstances and your relationships.

When you STOP blaming others, you START becoming EMPOWERED @Terri_Cole
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When you can begin to connect to the way you want things to be rather than the way they should be or how they have been, you can begin to design a life around your vision. This means you may have to make some very difficult choices about who stays, and who goes. You may change jobs, move cities, or end relationships. Yet you will recognize that in all of this, you are in charge. You’ll see that in all of your old circumstances, the only person keeping you there was you.

You can learn to take control of your life rather than being at the effect of it. When you do you’ll feel more empowered, inspired and committed to create a life that is filled with healthy relationships, meaningful work, and more joy. This simple, yet profound truth can make all the difference in how you live your life.

Now in the comments below I want to hear from you. Share with me one example of a situation where you now see, that is was in fact you keeping yourself stuck. I always love hearing from you.

Have a wonderful week and as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Tune Up Tips and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Laura Taylor