“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” – Charles Dickens
Tears are medicine. We have often been taught to “toughen up” to “pick up, suck it up, and just keep going.” We have gone through heartache and heartbreaks and have tried to brush it off too soon, because we have things to do and places to go, but the tears don’t disappear. They stay there hidden, repressed.
What we don’t bring to the surface eventually comes out in ugly ways. @CosmicChristine
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You see, our emotions are feelings in motion and when they can’t move through us, they stay stuck and we can’t heal.
My goddaughter Alysse is nine years old, and she is a fiery, smart, and special little girl. I am truly blessed. She always comes with stories that teach me more than she can ever imagine. She calls me “Nina” which stands for Madrina, which means godmother in Spanish.
“Nina, I got to tell you something. I cried the other day.”
I responded to her, “It’s okay to cry baby, we all cry.”
She responded, “Yeah, it was so weird. I just cried for no reason. Just cried and cried.”
I asked, “Was there anything making you sad you can think of or just feelings coming up?”
She responded, “Nope. just feelings and then I felt better.”
Sometimes feelings just come up. As adults we get used to analyzing and being in our brains instead of our bodies. We cover up raw emotions with rationalizations and reasons.
The purest form of healing comes in the simplest actions.
Just notice what you are feeling, without rhyme or reason, and let it come up. Alysse didn’t need to know why, she just allowed herself to cry.
How many times do we push through the day to NOT feel. Granted, we have lives and we need to function to get by, but sometimes we get by all too well, and go right on by the truth of our heart and soul and emotional worlds. In the end, how good is getting by without being connected to our truth, to our feelings, to our emotions… to what we are really feeling?
It’s hard to let go of that feeling of pain. It’s hard to admit we are broken, scared, lost, feel abandoned, unworthy, and blocked from all good things.
It’s easier to go right on by the uncomfortable feelings to a temporary sea of comfort … “I’m great.” Snap… snap .. picture on instagram #lovinglife …” off to drink … off to smoke … off to lie and say “it’s alright. Everything is fine. It’s easier to go on by the uncomfortable feelings, ignoring them and stuffing them down.
But temporary comfort always crashes and the longer you wait, the harder the crash.
The truth is, that sustainable peace is found in letting emotions be in motion. To flow. To let them come through you. Find time to hear the rumblings in your heart and soul. Find time to lean in to you and let yourself be sad, be scared, and be afraid.
It is there that peace is found
It is there that true healing is found.
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see life with a clearer view again.” ~Alex Tan
Spiritual texts, speak on the power of tears as well:
“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh” – Luke 6:21
And modern science now backs this up with research…
“These researchers believe that emotional crying is the body’s way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products. In fact, one study collected both reflex tears and emotional tears (after peeling an onion and watching a sad movie, respectively). When scientists analyzed the content of the tears, they found each type was very different. Reflex tears are generally found to be about 98 percent water, whereas several chemicals are commonly present in emotional tears. ” The Daily Journal
From ancient wisdom to modern therapy, we see that to “have a good cry” is not just a nice thing to do, it is one of the most healing medicines we can allow ourselves with. The illusion of being “strong and put together” blocks us from the truth of what actually allows us to be strong. Which is be honest, let go, and be vulnerable.
What are you sad about?
What is heavy in your heart?
Go deep. Tune in and let it out. You are safe.
“The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.” – Native american proverb
Christine Gutierrez is a psychotherapist, advice columnist, speaker, author, poet, and founder of Christineg.tv an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live and virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. She has been featured in TimeOut NY Magazine, Latina Magazine as “The Future 15: The Healer,” Yahoo Health, Ebony Magazine, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, The Conversation, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Ricki Lake, Lifetime TV, and more. You can also follow Christine on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram And sign up for her weekly newsletter at: www.christineg.tv. Want a free 15 minute consultation call? Click here to set it up!
Join Christine in her upcoming retreat The Embody Retreat, this November 2015, www.embodyretreat.com on the powerful lands of Arizona.