My life began after the loss of my husband.

Before his passing, I was living my life in a default state.

Graduate from college, get married, have kids, make friends, have play dates.

My brain was following the life that was determined by the people around me.

I am actually ashamed to even say this.

I don’t know where I was during those years.

Hypnotized by the messed up western society we all participate in.

Then, my beloved husband died and the default was destroyed along with me.

The suffering showed me how asleep the rest of the world was.

I was screaming at them and they were all like robots, still going on with their days in their hypnotic state.

Around the fifth year after his loss (yes it took five long years) the woman who is writing to you showed up.

I stopped silently screaming at everyone.

I stopped believing the lies we have been told about grief.

If you have gone through a terrible loss I want you to know that inside of you there is someone waiting to come out.

And the only reason this someone is not jolted into existence just yet is because our society tells us that you are going to be in suffering until you die.

Your brain is not looking for a reactivation, instead it is looking to survive.

I want to knock on your door and tell you how wrong this is.

How wrong it is for anyone to treat you as if your life is not to be celebrated anymore.

How wrong it is for people to treat you as if you will break.

You need to know that inside of you lives a person you have yet to meet. @SecondFirsts (Click to Tweet!)

And if you let this person out she/he will change your life so much that you won’t even recognize yourself.

There is one step that needs to happen before you can Re-enter.

It is one of the very first steps from my Re-entry process, it is what The Life Starters do when they start their Re-entry journey, it is in my book and it has saved the lives of thousands of people.

You need to spend at least seven days grief cleansing.

Cleansing all that you have been carrying around with you after your loss.

We cannot get to the new life without removing the invisible losses, the pain, the grief and the loneliness from your body and mind.

You need to wake up every day for at least seven days and write your way out.

I just can’t bear to think of you stuck inside the waiting room knowing so well what’s outside waiting for you.

Please, start with a grief cleanse.

Start writing your way out. And share it with someone who can witness you, validate you and see your re-entry come to life.

With love,


Christina Rasmussen is a bestselling author, speaker and philanthropist on a crusade to change the way we live after loss. As the founder of Second Firsts and Life Starters both organizations to help people create a pathway back to life after loss, Christina has helped thousands of people rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch their lives using the power of the human mind. Her book Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again, aims to take her message even further. You can find more information on her website and follow her on FB or Twitter.

Image courtesy of Ilya Mazurkevich.