Manifesting love is not for the faint of heart; however, it doesn’t need to be as tricky as some people make it out to be. All you need is willingness, clarity, and a great deal of courage and strength of heart. Oh, you also need openness, vulnerability, trust, and self-love, but you already know that.
I acknowledge you for your willingness to go out and get what you deserve, what you came to this earth for; it’s your birthright to find the right one for you, and it WILL happen!
So here you are in the midst of your manifesting-love journey, and all of a sudden, you feel stuck. Not to worry, my friends, because this is only temporary. I suggest you take some time to do some introspective work, and if you follow the following five tips, you will be all good to go and back on track.
# 1 Make a List of Three Non-Negotiables
The universe doesn’t like chaos. If you have a list of 8,425 items of everything you are looking for in your “person,” it will be impossible to bring them all to you. Pick three non-negotiables, aka deal-breakers. Everything else from your long list is the cherry on top. For instance, if you meet someone who has the same religion as you, is adventurous and intelligent (and those are your three), AND you have amazing chemistry, then there’s a great chance that the two of you could have endless potential. If this person happens to have some additional characteristics that you would like in a partner, but they aren’t part of your three non-negotiables, then consider yourself extra blessed. Take the time to hone in and think about what matters to you. Tap into your inner consciousness and look at your morals and values. What makes you feel comfortable, at ease, and full of joy? Those are your non-negotiables.
# 2 Get Clear on What You’re Looking For:
This is a significant block because, for the universe to serve up what you have ordered, you need to be clear on what you want to “order.”
Set the intention for what you ARE looking for, not what you’re NOT looking for:
In manifesting, you want to be positive. Since we know that the universe gives us what we focus on, you must be focused on what you do want, not what you don’t want, because if you are focused on what you don’t want, the universe will bring you just that because THAT’S what you’re focused on.
For example, a client of mine dated a man she couldn’t trust, and he gave her very obvious reasons not to trust him. He would flirt with other women in front of her, and sometimes he would disappear for days. Her self-esteem was at an all-time low. She came into her first session announcing that she wanted to manifest the right man for her; she was sick of dating the wrong men and would do everything to AVOID another man she couldn’t trust! You never want to use the word “avoid” when manifesting because that is exactly what you will manifest as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I informed her of this concept, and she was surprised and relieved. She understood from that day forward that she needed to focus on what she did want, which was a solid man she could trust- a man who had her back and a man she felt good around, she felt at home with, etc.
Once she had her “a-ha” moment and made a shift in consciousness, it didn’t take long for her to manifest her man. She met an upstanding, chivalrous gentleman, treated her like a princess, respected her, and made her feel safe physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
#3 Be in Trust-Mode vs. Fear-Mode
There are two things in life- there is love, and there is fear. The two cannot exist at the same time. I encourage you to be mindful and aware of where you are residing at all times. If you reside in fear mode, make a conscious effort to shift into faith (aka as “love,” aka “trust”) mode.
Humans are conditioned to be in fear mode, but it only holds them back from manifesting love. Realizing that the block to love does not come from the outside; instead, it comes from the inside can feel very empowering. You have the power to choose to reside in love and trust mode to bring in the person who is the most aligned with you; that person you will recognize and instantly feel at home with; that’s your person. But you won’t be able to get there if you are in fear mode.
#4 Leave the Past in the Past
This is a must when it comes to manifesting love! If you are hung up on a past love, it’s not possible to bring in the love that is waiting for you. Energetically you are still in the past, so even though you think you’re ready, you’re not until you make peace with your past relationships and lay them to rest in the past where they belong. You learned and grew from each experience, and hopefully, they all made you stronger and more connected with the knowledge of who you are (if you haven’t done this work, feel free to reach out to me because healing is crucial to manifesting love). My point is that you need to be fully open to love, and that means that you are free and willing to be vulnerable and open your heart when the time is right to meet your “person.”
#5 Don’t Compare
Do not compare yourself to others. Let me repeat, do not compare yourself to other people. Everyone has their own “right time.” Just because your best friend Jenna has been happily married with a kid on the way doesn’t mean that it’s your time. Your time will come, and the more that you compare yourself to “Jenna” or everyone who pops up on your Instagram feed, the worse you will feel about yourself, and your energy and vibration will be low, resulting in low self-esteem, which will never get you what you want, which is love. Trust that your time will come and do your best to stay in your own lane.
No matter what you do or what you say, or how many dates you go on, manifesting needs to start from within. Every tip I mentioned has to do with how you are feeling on the inside. Do everything in your power to practice self-care and be gentle and tender with yourself. Before you know it, all of your anguish and “suffering” will be just a minor blip in the past, and you will find yourself in the arms of your “forever” wondering why you spent so much time worrying about it not happening. Stay present, stay grounded and stay centered, and most importantly, stay in your self-loving. You got this!
Jaime Bronstein is a relationship therapist, coach and host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio. She was named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives in 2020” by Yahoo Finance. For the past 20 years, Jaime has been teaching her clients how to heal their past, love themselves unconditionally, how to be vulnerable, tap into their inner strengths and intuition, and live more authentically to achieve their relationship goals. Jaime is highly sought-after to share her relationship advice on various media outlets such as KTLA, ABC, NBC and CBS News, PEOPLE, Thrive Global, and Bustle. Jaime empowers her clients to become aware of the fact that they were born to have love in their lives – not just any love – the right love for them. Jaime has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Boston University, a master’s degree in social work from New York University, and a certificate in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. Jaime’s book on manifesting love is currently in the works. Find her online at www.therelationshipexpert.com and catch her on-camera radio show. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. To check out some of Jaime’s work, click on her sizzle reel link: https://vimeo.com/371954437.